Learning: How Much Is a Matter of Style?


Behaviors to Consider:

• • The child who seems to be constantly talking or making noise


For many auditory learners, talking is the only way to really think about what they are doing. Hearing themselves say the words helps them understand and remember. Their best problem-solving may be the result of talking through the whole process. If you get tired of listening to a constant stream of chatter, try using a code word. Let them know you will give your undivided attention the moment they say that word. In the meantime, you can practice tuning out the sounds that are merely a part of their thinking process. Remember, even the noise that seems utterly unnecessary to you may be helping your child think and learn. Hold him accountable for the bottom line, but consider letting him talk his way there!

• • The child who seems to be easily distracted, preferring imagination over reality


Many children have very active and visual imaginations. Often, when they look like they are not paying attention, they are trying to form a mental picture of what is being said. These children can have a great future in the areas where their visual strengths are most in demand—art, design, and advertising, just to name a few. Instead of being frustrated with their apparent inattention, try finding out what they are paying attention to. Then try finding ways to incorporate the distraction into the process of listening. For example, take the colorful picture that is lying on the table, and encourage your visual child to think about what her picture would look like if she followed the instructions you are giving her. Whenever possible, provide these learners with a picture of what you are trying to communicate. Also encourage them to draw or write as they are learning in order to reinforce the visual strengths.

• • The child who is restless, active, and won’t sit still
If you have a child who constantly has excess energy to burn, there is cause to celebrate!

Having a child who squirms and changes position every few seconds presents a challenge to both teachers and parents. But as your child gets older, the ability to think and work on the move is a real plus. Athletes, actors, mechanics, craftsmen—all of these professionals have discovered how beneficial it is to be gifted with natural movement and energy. Instead of simply trying to force your active child to be still, try to direct the energy. For example, use that flight of stairs to practice spelling words, or shoot hoops in the backyard while you talk about what will be on tomorrow’s test. You may be amazed at how effective your active learner is if you simply insist the bottom-line task be accomplished—with or without staying the same place to do it!

• • The child who can’t seem to remember details or specifics


Not everyone was born with a naturally analytic mind. For many, the overall picture or general concept is much easier to grasp than the details. Of course, if your child is not analytic, school may seem difficult and frustrating. It’s important to recognize and reinforce the positive aspects of being more “global,” or big-picture oriented. Your global child will be able to quickly and intuitively understand the main idea of a story or lesson. He or she will often know an answer without being able to explain or justify it. Global learners find it easier to connect ideas and see relationships than their more analytic counterparts. It often helps globals focus on necessary details if you will warn them in advance about what they will need to know. Notice and praise their ability to quickly get to the heart of an issue and pull out the highlights. Instead of making them feel bad for forgetting details, help them recognize why the details are important in the first place—how they fit into the bigger picture.

• • The child who is a perfectionist and can’t seem to think of anything but details

Some children are so focused on achievement that it seems like they never relax and just enjoy themselves. If you have a child who worries about getting every detail exactly right, be sure to encourage the concientious nature that prompted the concern in the first place. Certainly the workplace can always use people who are careful and thorough, especially in professions that depend on accuracy and fine points. If you yourself are not a particularly detail-oriented parent, you may be frustrated by your child’s constant questions and concerns. But it is important for both of you to keep enough perspective to stay balanced. Ask your child what he needs in order to feel like he has enough information or materials to accomplish his task. Try to avoid saying things like “Oh, don’t worry about it.” Look for situations where your child does not have to even think about details—watching a movie just for fun, for example. Be prepared for the fact that even though there is no formal evaluation needed, your perfectionist may still feel compelled to pick it apart. The concern for perfection is real, so try easing it, not doing away with it entirely.